Magic Bombarde

(Soldiers' Tale)

Eight Bernese tailors went to war
with instruments in hand
to serve their country marching
in a military band.

Among them was a captain bold
who held a shiny blade
to use at battle with the French
at soldierly parade.

In Biel the bombarde player blew
with such tremendous sound,
that next to him, the clarinet
fell stone-dead to the ground.

In Neuenberg, the bombarde blew
the flutist to his grave
as well, the bombarde's mighty blast
the trumpet could not brave.

The captain said, "I've had enough!
if this keeps getting worse,
we won't arrive in France at all
unless it's in a hearse."

He draws his sabre out and hacks
the bombarde into two.
Their military service done,
they bid this war adieu.